Firing My First Bot
Over a couple decades of my career, I’ve never had a traditional corporate management role with direct reports. Have I led teams with dozens of support and collaboration roles? Yes. Have I ever been the manager who signs off on someone clocking in late for a personal appointment? No.
Instead, in recent years, I’ve had chatbot assistants “reporting” to me. And it only took a matter of weeks before I fired my first bot.
Bots are THE staff to have in the new AI era. Years ago, having a chatbot on your website was like bragging about driving a custom Lambo. Now? It’s a Honda. They’re everywhere. But they're not the gas-guzzling Hondas we've always known. Today’s chatbots run on new, conversational AI technology. They can actually learn. They’re creepy-sharper than humans. They're studying every word your customers type and getting smarter over time.
Keyword: over time.
The reason I fired my first bots was simple: they were entry-level, “hired” to fill jobs way above their pay grade. The software companies behind them were basically using clients as free training grounds. (Companies have always done this with humans too, so the concept is nothing new!)
But here’s the problem: clients were paying top dollar for bots that couldn’t handle sensitive or legally risky customer conversations. Responses weren’t naturally timed or phrased. Users sniffed out the AI quickly and disengaged. An audit discovered the website chatbot feature (the annoying pop-up you're always closing) had practically no engagement. By the time a customers were making their first contact with the business, they'd consumed all the non-human content they were interested in and at that point wanted... a human.
The audit's main takeaway was that my client was double-spending on automated email campaigns, something their existing software already handled.
By firing bots, I saved one client $30,000 a year in contracted software services they didn't need.
Please don't get me wrong. I am all for AI efficiencies!
Some bots I keep because they truly perform and deliver value. But here’s the reality: managing bots takes just as much bandwidth as managing humans, if not more. And traditional marketing + operations staffing models are not accounting for this.
I’ve accepted that I’m not cut out for the classic corporate manager gig. My skill set isn’t handling a complex human resource workload. Turns out, I’m better at managing “artificial” staff, which for now means working with product developers to teach chatbots what the hell a personal appointment even is.
Equal Opportunity Bot Policy: Vermillion Design is committed to fair treatment of all bots, regardless of coding language, platform, or version number. We do not discriminate based on operating system, service provider, a bot’s background or where it was trained. All bots are given equal opportunity to annoy, misfire, or genuinely assist in customer engagement moments.
Disclaimer: This post is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It is certainly not legal advice. Always consult a qualified attorney for guidance on compliance related to emerging AI technologies and HR policies.